


Sober

by Madquinn13



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9674504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madquinn13/pseuds/Madquinn13
Summary: After a video is released showing Alex working with CADMUS she has to go on the run. The isolation takes it toll.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dark. I've been listening to P!nk's songs and well I was listening to Sober and I just went holy fuck, this fits Alex and so here my first song fic in jesus maybe 4 years....no....3...fuck I'm old....when did Begin again come out.....2012....that's like 5 years.....fuck

_I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest_

_Or the girl who never wants to be alone_

_I don't wanna be there calling 4 o'clock in the morning_

_Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home_

Alex didn’t know how she ended up like this again. One minute everything was great, the next her whole word was collapsing around her.

General Lane came back to the DEO, they had found video footage of Alex meeting with know CADMUS agents and giving them weapons as well secure information. J’onn immediately tried to have the charges dismissed pointing out that clearly it was a frame job but her DNA and prints were at the scene so it didn’t matter. They have proof and evidence and she was going to be arrested for treason.

Power went out in the DEO and she heard a voice in her head (she was never more glad for J’onn telepathy before) telling her to run, and she did. Now she was hiding out on the roof of a near by building glad that she paused at the liquor store in the base of the building. If she was going to be caught and dragged off to a firing squad or whatever, she didn’t want to be sober for it.

Turns out when you want to hide from the government no one was a better ally than Supergirl. Kara had found her and now Alex was hiding out in the Fortress of Solitude all alone with a bag full of 40s. (Clothes would’ve been a good idea but this seemed more important)

_Ah, the sun is blinding_

_I stayed up again_

_Oh, I am finding_

_That that's not the way I want my story to end_

The limit for complete isolation and alcohol before going completely mad was only three days. She couldn’t even venture outside, for once thing she couldn’t open the door, for another she didn’t have a jacket and it was literally a frozen wasteland out there.

Winn had given Kara an untraceable burner phone so at least they could get in contact with her. Kara also explained the situation to Maggie. But since people knew about Maggie any of her calls would be recorded and if they knew she was in contact with Alex she could end up being brought up on charges too and Alex didn’t want that.

So she was completely alone. Kara couldn’t fly anywhere she under constant watch and the DEO was in control of Lane.

Ice was really reflective so she spent most of her time staring at her own reflecting yelling at herself because how did she not see this coming of course the other shoe was bound to drop it always is.  

_I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence_

_The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth_

_Please don't tell me that we had that conversation_

_Cause I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?_

By day twelve Alex was almost out of alcohol she had taken to throwing the empty bottles as punishment for them not containing the sweet nectar she required.

With the feeling of warmth from her liquid strength she ventured outside, putting an empty bottle in the doorway to prevent the door from fully closing. She saw how tall the cave was that held the fortress and of course she had to climb it. You don’t see a mountain and not try to climb it. It’s like not hitting a big red button that says do not push.

It of course wasn’t easy but had managed to get to the top, her fingers were turning a deep shade of red and her mind was vaguely away that was bad.

She looked out across the vast empty space of snow and nothing but for miles and just felt everything finally coming to a boiling point.

She let out a desperate rage filled scream until her legs literally gave out under her and she was kneeling in the snow on top of a mountain sobbing because how did her life turn into this?

She wasn’t sure what happened after she climbed the mountain but she woke up back inside the cave with Clark staring at her.

“What were you thinking Alex you could have died!” He started to lecture. “I can’t believe you would be so irresponsible. Why did you only bring alcohol? Why did you think you ever need this much? And smashing the bottles? No wonder you’re covered in cuts, just. The whole reason Kara wanted you to be here was so you’d be safe but you’re doing your best to make sure you aren’t!”

Alex just closed her eyes putting both hands over her ears to drown out his loud booming voice and equally loud echoes.

It would be so much easier if she was dead.

She should turn herself in.

 

_Ah, the night is calling?_

_And it whispers to me softly come and play_

_But I, I am falling_

_And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame_

When she woke up again Clark was gone, but he took all the booze. Fucking buzzkill.

Not even the annoying robot was to be seen now. The silence was deafening.

She didn’t know what was worse really, her hangover the complete loneliness she felt now.

“No.” She groaned forcing herself to stand. “No. No. No.” She picked up her phone and sent off a text to Kara’s phone. **I’m sorry.**

She stared down at the broken shards that Clark had missed. That was a way to fix her pain.

_I'm safe_

_Up high_

_Nothing can touch me_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain_

_Inside_

_You're like perfection_

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

Alex watched the blood splatter down on the clear ice. She couldn’t help but start laughing as it pooled together on the ice. She dipped a finger in the small pool of blood and started to draw a picture on the wall next to her. She laughed as she exaggerated the smile on the little stick figure.

She did the final touches before closing her eyes and giving in to the sleep tugging her mind and vision. Before she fully was taken she thought she saw the door opening and Kara running in.

_Coming down, coming down, coming down_

_Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round_

_I'm looking for myself, sober_

_Coming down, coming down, coming down_

_Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round_

_Looking for myself, sober_

“We need a better solution than this!” Kara’s voice bounced off the ice walls and inside Alex’s own skull making the former agent, current double doctor (they couldn’t take that away) groan in pain. She had her phone in her hand that she was yelling into. “You’re awake!” Kara turned to face her sister smiling hand going to cup her cheek. “What the hell were you thinking!” Kara smacked her lightly in the chest glaring down at her.

“Thinking ‘bout what?” She blinked up at her. “Why are you here?” She looked so surprised.

“Because I love you, you idiot.” Kara hissed. “I should’ve stayed here with you the entire time.”

“S’okay.” Alex could feel her eyes trying to close again but Kara seemed pretty adamant to stop that.  

“No stay awake come on Alex. Please stay awake. I’m sorry. J’onn is still trying to get proof that it wasn’t actually you. Until then I’m not leaving your side.”

“You can’t stay here. National City is going to need you.”

“You need me more!”

“No I don’t Kara.” Alex knew she would feel terrible if people died because Kara was stuck there with her, Kara would also feel guilty too that she was unable to help them. Her sister held up Alex’s own bandage wrist.

“This proves otherwise.”

_When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'till it goes bad_

_'Till you're trying to find the you that you once had_

_I have heard myself cry, never again_

_Broken down in agony just tryin' to find a friend_

It took an entire month after Kara decided to never leave her side for J’onn and Winn to get enough proof that Alex was framed. Alex was being carefully watched by Kara and it was driving her nuts. She wasn’t fully aware of actively slitting open her wrist but she had the vague memory of playing with the blood.  

She wanted to apologize but honestly just promising not to do it again was enough. She had a feeling it was a mix of withdrawal, a weeks worth of hangovers and maddening silence that mixed together to create that cluster fuck of an idea.

She was fully expecting to return to National City, to need to find a new apartment (and replacing everything in it) and for Maggie to have given up on them. She really was prepared for that. It was okay. She’d be fine. She could survive it. She knew now not to ever leave herself open like that again.

_Oh,_

_Oh,_

_I'm safe_

_Up high_

_Nothing can touch me_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain_

_Inside_

_You're like perfection_

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

She had never been more grateful to have been wrong before in her life.

Her apartment was seized as evidence and was sealed off from anyone entering it. (She apparently still had to pay the rent for that time) But most importantly Maggie was waiting for her. She did so much to try and help Alex knowing that there was no way to let her know.

The second Alex stepped into the room with her she was pulling into a crushing hug with Maggie refusing to lighten her grip for far too long.

“I missed you.” Alex whispered, her eyes clothes just basking in everything Maggie.

“I missed you too.” Maggie whispered back. “Next time you have to go on the run I’m going with you.”

“Okay.” Alex hoped there wasn’t a need for a next time.


End file.
